Life can suck

Well George is still a lovely person. Can be strange, wanting to be serious with me, then pulling back. I can understand because nothing can ever happen with us unless one of us moves to the other country. I don't see that happening. We have decided not to contact each other as much as it makes things too hard. He is still a lovely person and I am so glad I met him.
Since I last wrote on this blog I have met a love man that lives in another state but is so much like me it is amazing. We have a friendship, nothing else. He is a great person to talk to. We discuss with each other how hard it is bringing up kids on our own. I get a mans perspective and he gets a womans perspective. It is great to have someone to talk to. Not having to worry about sex getting in the way. Sal is the father of 2 girls, one just about to hit teenage years. He was hurt bad but his ex and has picked up the pieces. He misses sharing the little things. Like coming home from work and someone asking how was your day? Discussing dinner and just venting. This is what Sal and I have. It is great. If life was different I don't know if we would be together as a couple. Maybe. But this is life, and I'm happy to have him in my life. One day one of us will meet someone and we will have to see where that leaves us but for now we are kindred spirits and it is nice. That part of my life is nice.





Now life can really suck. Two weeks ago, my teenage daughter was in a friends car when some asshole decided it would be a great idea to run a red light and smash into the side of their car. A parents worse nightmare to get a call that your daughter has been in an accident.
Driving to the accident seemed to take forever. Going through my mind was so many things. Like, what will I find? Is she badly hurt? How did it happen?

When I finally arrived I was in total shock. There was my baby girl still in the car. Neck brace on. Car totalled. She couldn't remember what she had done that night. The other girls had already been taken out of the car and to the hospital. My daughter was the most hurt. The ambulance men were being very careful trying to decide the best way to move her out of the car. My first thought was could she feel her legs? Yes... could she move her toes. fingers. Thank goodness yes. The major concern was getting her out of the car without doing any more damage. The whole world stopped. I felt helpless. All I could do was hold her hand and pray.

Finally they were able to move her. Very slowly. She was in so much pain. My heart was breaking. The ambulance decided to take her to a different hospital than her friends as her injuries were the worse.

What happened to the others? Couldn't think of them. How did this happen?
I heard conversations about the guy in the other car running off and that they didn't have him yet. About him being a known reaffender of drink driving. What? Where is he? How could he run off like that? What if he had killed one of them? Can't think of all that now, need to see if my baby is ok.

The ambulance took off and went to the hospital. They weren't rushing, so that was a good sign. As I started to drive to the hospital I saw the other car. It was totalled as well. Where was the driver? He must have ran off on foot. The coward. Bet he was drink driving.

At the hospital we had to wait for a bit while they brought her in. She had to have numerous tests. Blood test, checks for concusion, blood pressure, xrays, cat scans. Doctors, nurses, interns, so many of them all very nice, all very efficent. They checked her spine several times, they asked her questions to make sure her memory was coming back. All this time my baby was on her back not moving with a neck brace on. Each time a test came back it was good news, I was starting to feel a bit better things were going to be ok. They put on morfine for the pain. That scared me at first, but they know what they are doing. Then the final test, the cat scan. My thoughts, blood clot on brain. After waiting in emergency for 5 hours, numerous test. The final results. Brain all clear. Yeah. But................ She has two fractures on the top two vertubrae of her neck.........I almost fainted. What did this mean. Worst scenario,,,,,,,,,,,, metal pins in neck. We had to wait for the neurosurgen. More waiting. Luckily no pins needed. She would have to wear a neck brace for at least 6 weeks. My god all the what ifs started to come into my brain. I couldn't stop them. She was lucky. I was a mix of emotions. I was just glad my daughter was going to be ok.

Some times life can suck.