Friday, March 5, 2010
Life can suck
Well George is still a lovely person. Can be strange, wanting to be serious with me, then pulling back. I can understand because nothing can ever happen with us unless one of us moves to the other country. I don't see that happening. We have decided not to contact each other as much as it makes things too hard. He is still a lovely person and I am so glad I met him.
Since I last wrote on this blog I have met a love man that lives in another state but is so much like me it is amazing. We have a friendship, nothing else. He is a great person to talk to. We discuss with each other how hard it is bringing up kids on our own. I get a mans perspective and he gets a womans perspective. It is great to have someone to talk to. Not having to worry about sex getting in the way. Sal is the father of 2 girls, one just about to hit teenage years. He was hurt bad but his ex and has picked up the pieces. He misses sharing the little things. Like coming home from work and someone asking how was your day? Discussing dinner and just venting. This is what Sal and I have. It is great. If life was different I don't know if we would be together as a couple. Maybe. But this is life, and I'm happy to have him in my life. One day one of us will meet someone and we will have to see where that leaves us but for now we are kindred spirits and it is nice. That part of my life is nice.
Now life can really suck. Two weeks ago, my teenage daughter was in a friends car when some asshole decided it would be a great idea to run a red light and smash into the side of their car. A parents worse nightmare to get a call that your daughter has been in an accident.
Driving to the accident seemed to take forever. Going through my mind was so many things. Like, what will I find? Is she badly hurt? How did it happen?
When I finally arrived I was in total shock. There was my baby girl still in the car. Neck brace on. Car totalled. She couldn't remember what she had done that night. The other girls had already been taken out of the car and to the hospital. My daughter was the most hurt. The ambulance men were being very careful trying to decide the best way to move her out of the car. My first thought was could she feel her legs? Yes... could she move her toes. fingers. Thank goodness yes. The major concern was getting her out of the car without doing any more damage. The whole world stopped. I felt helpless. All I could do was hold her hand and pray.
Finally they were able to move her. Very slowly. She was in so much pain. My heart was breaking. The ambulance decided to take her to a different hospital than her friends as her injuries were the worse.
What happened to the others? Couldn't think of them. How did this happen?
I heard conversations about the guy in the other car running off and that they didn't have him yet. About him being a known reaffender of drink driving. What? Where is he? How could he run off like that? What if he had killed one of them? Can't think of all that now, need to see if my baby is ok.
The ambulance took off and went to the hospital. They weren't rushing, so that was a good sign. As I started to drive to the hospital I saw the other car. It was totalled as well. Where was the driver? He must have ran off on foot. The coward. Bet he was drink driving.
At the hospital we had to wait for a bit while they brought her in. She had to have numerous tests. Blood test, checks for concusion, blood pressure, xrays, cat scans. Doctors, nurses, interns, so many of them all very nice, all very efficent. They checked her spine several times, they asked her questions to make sure her memory was coming back. All this time my baby was on her back not moving with a neck brace on. Each time a test came back it was good news, I was starting to feel a bit better things were going to be ok. They put on morfine for the pain. That scared me at first, but they know what they are doing. Then the final test, the cat scan. My thoughts, blood clot on brain. After waiting in emergency for 5 hours, numerous test. The final results. Brain all clear. Yeah. But................ She has two fractures on the top two vertubrae of her neck.........I almost fainted. What did this mean. Worst scenario,,,,,,,,,,,, metal pins in neck. We had to wait for the neurosurgen. More waiting. Luckily no pins needed. She would have to wear a neck brace for at least 6 weeks. My god all the what ifs started to come into my brain. I couldn't stop them. She was lucky. I was a mix of emotions. I was just glad my daughter was going to be ok.
Some times life can suck.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Internet dating 2
http://allcomputers.yolasite.com/
Well it has been a while since I have blogged. Trying to work out what to say and to put what has happened into perspective. Since my last blog I must admit I have felt pretty good but also very horny. Unfortunatly, John (the internet guy) has unleashed feelings I had forgotten about . I am on facebook with my friends and family and yes I do sign up for things that they send me. One such thing was ayi. The email I got was a friend thinks your great. So I clicked to see how it was and fiound this site that sort of a dating site, but a bit different. I didn't end up doing anything, last thing I needed was another dating site. 2 days later I had an email on facebook from someone named George saying he had seen my profile and wanted to know if I wanted to chat sometime. I was about to delet when I saw his photo and my niece said what did I have to lose? So I said yes. Why not see what he had to say. Well he is one of the most gorgeous people I have ever met. We talk about anything and everything. He makes me laugh and makes me feel so sexy and special. Unfortunatly he lives in England and I live in Australia. Just my luck to meet someone so great that lives on the other side of the world and 10 hours behind. Nothing can ever happen our lives are to far apart, but I am so glad I met him. I know exactly what I am looking for and how I want to be treated. Thank you George I am so grateful I met you. We will always be friends and I wish him well and hope he meets someone to make him happy he so deserves it.
Well it has been a while since I have blogged. Trying to work out what to say and to put what has happened into perspective. Since my last blog I must admit I have felt pretty good but also very horny. Unfortunatly, John (the internet guy) has unleashed feelings I had forgotten about . I am on facebook with my friends and family and yes I do sign up for things that they send me. One such thing was ayi. The email I got was a friend thinks your great. So I clicked to see how it was and fiound this site that sort of a dating site, but a bit different. I didn't end up doing anything, last thing I needed was another dating site. 2 days later I had an email on facebook from someone named George saying he had seen my profile and wanted to know if I wanted to chat sometime. I was about to delet when I saw his photo and my niece said what did I have to lose? So I said yes. Why not see what he had to say. Well he is one of the most gorgeous people I have ever met. We talk about anything and everything. He makes me laugh and makes me feel so sexy and special. Unfortunatly he lives in England and I live in Australia. Just my luck to meet someone so great that lives on the other side of the world and 10 hours behind. Nothing can ever happen our lives are to far apart, but I am so glad I met him. I know exactly what I am looking for and how I want to be treated. Thank you George I am so grateful I met you. We will always be friends and I wish him well and hope he meets someone to make him happy he so deserves it.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Internet dating
Well that guy I thought was so sweet? Not so sweet more weird. Things were going great we were getting along so well. Always laughing and talking. Things were hotting up and we couldn't wait to meet. We talked about everything, including sex. I was turned on by him more than I thought was posible. We even had phone sex. (A first for me) I felt so alive and cared about. I was hopeful about the future. Not expecting love but knowing that I was getting closer to a great guy who was wanting to be with me.
Yesterday it all turned to shit.
The day started great. I was feeling good and knew that I would hear from him again. He txt me and told me how wonderful it was to wake up to look at a picture of me and we discussed when he was come to meet me. We started making plans and discussing details. After about 10 wonderful txt he all of a sudden started getting nasty. He asked me to send him a photo of all of me. When I told him that I didn't feel comfortable with that and that I wanted to have some class. He then txt that if I had class I would have not said the things we said and I would have left him to wonder about my thoughts.
We had been talking for 2 weeks and things were getting hot and we were getting closer so naturally I was loosening up and relaxing in his company. He also said and did things and chased me and flirted and made me feel like he wanted to take things to the next level.
I was dumbfounded that he could say that. There were no signs, no inclination that this could happen. When we spoke there was nothing but laughter and caring in his voice. 2 seconds before we were laughing and having a good time. Things then got worse and nastier. The final txt I sent him was that we were adults and not kids and it was fun to know him. He didn't agree. Needless to say I was shocked and don't know if I want to do the internet thing again. I was really weary to begin with and had not said yes to get to know anyone else but felt a connection with him. We didn't just talk on the internet but on the phone and he rang me every night. We became friends on facebook. I let my guard down and started to enjoy the attention of the opposite sex. He knew that I wanted to take things slowly and that my kids were my first priority. When things got nasty he made it seem like I was playing him and acted like he was a jilted partner. I still don't understand. I have gone over all our conversations and txts and I cannot see any problem with any of them or why he would act like that except for the fact that I didn't want to send a naked photo of me over the net. I don't know if I can let my guard down like that again. I'm not stupid and I knew what I was getting into, but I did not expect things to snap so fast. I hope that one day I will meet someone who will understand me make me laugh, turn me on and not turn into a jerk. I don't know how this is going to happen or when, but I hope it does. At the moment I just feel empty, lost and alone......................
Has anyone else had this problem?
http://www.traffic-splash.com/luckypromoter001.html?referer=paulie65
http://www.sokule.com/paulie65
Yesterday it all turned to shit.
The day started great. I was feeling good and knew that I would hear from him again. He txt me and told me how wonderful it was to wake up to look at a picture of me and we discussed when he was come to meet me. We started making plans and discussing details. After about 10 wonderful txt he all of a sudden started getting nasty. He asked me to send him a photo of all of me. When I told him that I didn't feel comfortable with that and that I wanted to have some class. He then txt that if I had class I would have not said the things we said and I would have left him to wonder about my thoughts.
We had been talking for 2 weeks and things were getting hot and we were getting closer so naturally I was loosening up and relaxing in his company. He also said and did things and chased me and flirted and made me feel like he wanted to take things to the next level.
I was dumbfounded that he could say that. There were no signs, no inclination that this could happen. When we spoke there was nothing but laughter and caring in his voice. 2 seconds before we were laughing and having a good time. Things then got worse and nastier. The final txt I sent him was that we were adults and not kids and it was fun to know him. He didn't agree. Needless to say I was shocked and don't know if I want to do the internet thing again. I was really weary to begin with and had not said yes to get to know anyone else but felt a connection with him. We didn't just talk on the internet but on the phone and he rang me every night. We became friends on facebook. I let my guard down and started to enjoy the attention of the opposite sex. He knew that I wanted to take things slowly and that my kids were my first priority. When things got nasty he made it seem like I was playing him and acted like he was a jilted partner. I still don't understand. I have gone over all our conversations and txts and I cannot see any problem with any of them or why he would act like that except for the fact that I didn't want to send a naked photo of me over the net. I don't know if I can let my guard down like that again. I'm not stupid and I knew what I was getting into, but I did not expect things to snap so fast. I hope that one day I will meet someone who will understand me make me laugh, turn me on and not turn into a jerk. I don't know how this is going to happen or when, but I hope it does. At the moment I just feel empty, lost and alone......................
Has anyone else had this problem?
http://www.traffic-splash.com/luckypromoter001.html?referer=paulie65
http://www.sokule.com/paulie65
Monday, February 1, 2010
Life is changing. It is moving very fast.
Wow can't believe how things have changed since mylast blogged. The guy I was talking to on the internet has been ringing me every night. My how hot and heavy the conversations have got. I am now feeling very good but also very confused and guilty. Do I tell my kids that I have met someone. So far the answer is no. I have not physically met him yet, so how can I tell the kids I met someone on the internet. Sounds very corny and very desperate. I did not intend to actually meet anyone on the net and was very surprised when I connected with this man. He makes me laugh, and I have not laughed in a long time, it feels good. He also turns me on. Oh boy how he turns me on. I am so confused about my feelings as how can I feel so strongly for a man I have only spoken to and seen photos? It doesn't seem normal. But what is normal these days?
- Then there are the insecurities. Is he true? Does he mean the things he says? Am I comming across as desparate? Is he a player and I am easy prey cause I don't really know what I am doing? I haven't been single for over 20 years. I know there are guys out there who prey on single women for quick easy sex. Is that the way it is going to be for me? So many questions and no answers. Would I like to have sex with this man?????? Yes....... Am I scared??? Yes................ Am I worried I will look like a fool???????YES.............I had internet foreplay with him.. Was it wrong? I don't know, but it was good...... I had phone sex. Was that wrong? Maybe........... but it was great. Do I want to have sex with him in real life? Yes. I don't know if I am being used but I am having a good time. For now.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Solving money problem
Well solved another money problem today. Well a band aid fix anyhow. I borrowed money to pay my rego that is due tomorrow. I still have to pay it back in a couple of weeks, but at least I still have my car on the road. I have $30 left to last me 5 days and still need to buy 2 more meals a usb for my daughter for school and 3 more books. Not to mention bread and milk and petrol. Well one problem is solved I'm sure I will think of something.
My best friend left her husband today after a very rocky 10 years that continued to get worse. I am sad for her because her dream is now over, but also releived cause now she can maybe find some peace without fighting all the time. Worried for her because I know what she now has to go through and how hard the next 12 months are going to be and how hard it is going to be to be a single mother, and try to support the family. but I also know that she will get through it. We all do. Well my internet friend is online and wants to talk so why not, he has a great sense of humour. cheers.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Surviving with no money
http://www.sokule.com/paulie65
Well I had a great Australia day. Didn't do much but hung out with a great friend who is a single mum and her kid's. She has just had big hassle with her fiance, who is no longer her fiance. He decided that Australia day was the day that he was going to leave her stranded and take the car that he bought for her away from her. She doesn't care any more.. He proved he only wanted her for sex and her kids had grown to dispise him. She says she is heaps happier. I often wonder if finding someone to love is possible as we all have baggage as we get older and it is harder to deal with as we are not nieve any more.
Anyway, Australia was good great bbq at her place, kids swimming in pool, great conversation. Then we went to the beach for awhile. No stress just fun.
Today reality came back with a bang. Bills to pay and no money to pay them. I had a house inspection on the house I rent, so I was cleaning all day in 35 degrees celcius. Panicking that it won't pass and they won't want to renew my lease. The life of the only parent is tough because no body else is there to make sure the pieces fit and everything works, you are alone. I had $263 to pay rent of $520 and other small bills as well as school went back so I have to make sure I have enough for lunchs and I have to do groceries. What to do. I have 3 kids and I have 1 income and no other chance of a second income. The bills I have are the same as a married couple with 3 kids, but where they can make 2 incomes, there is only 1 in my house until my kids grow up. How is the only parent to survive. Some single mothers at least get maintainence. The only parent, NONE. Not even a night or weekend kid free to revitalise. How do we cope? I have no idea. But we do. Anyway, I paid 2 days rent of $150, to stop being sent a remedy notice and bought enough cheap food to make a couple of good meals and will have pasta on other nights. I will bake for school snacks. Hopefully, that will keep wolves at bay for a week or until I can work out where else to make money that fits in with the kids. Any sugestions?
Anyway on a brighter note. The guy I have spoken to on the speed date site has txt me twice. He seems so sweet. Have no idea what I am getting into but it feels good. I am supposed to talk to him tonight. Hope he comes on. God I have no idea what I a doing. Time will tell. Keep in touch and find out more. Heart break or love. Money or contiuously broke. Only the fate knows. God damn you fate. Ha Ha bye for now.
Well I had a great Australia day. Didn't do much but hung out with a great friend who is a single mum and her kid's. She has just had big hassle with her fiance, who is no longer her fiance. He decided that Australia day was the day that he was going to leave her stranded and take the car that he bought for her away from her. She doesn't care any more.. He proved he only wanted her for sex and her kids had grown to dispise him. She says she is heaps happier. I often wonder if finding someone to love is possible as we all have baggage as we get older and it is harder to deal with as we are not nieve any more.
Anyway, Australia was good great bbq at her place, kids swimming in pool, great conversation. Then we went to the beach for awhile. No stress just fun.
Today reality came back with a bang. Bills to pay and no money to pay them. I had a house inspection on the house I rent, so I was cleaning all day in 35 degrees celcius. Panicking that it won't pass and they won't want to renew my lease. The life of the only parent is tough because no body else is there to make sure the pieces fit and everything works, you are alone. I had $263 to pay rent of $520 and other small bills as well as school went back so I have to make sure I have enough for lunchs and I have to do groceries. What to do. I have 3 kids and I have 1 income and no other chance of a second income. The bills I have are the same as a married couple with 3 kids, but where they can make 2 incomes, there is only 1 in my house until my kids grow up. How is the only parent to survive. Some single mothers at least get maintainence. The only parent, NONE. Not even a night or weekend kid free to revitalise. How do we cope? I have no idea. But we do. Anyway, I paid 2 days rent of $150, to stop being sent a remedy notice and bought enough cheap food to make a couple of good meals and will have pasta on other nights. I will bake for school snacks. Hopefully, that will keep wolves at bay for a week or until I can work out where else to make money that fits in with the kids. Any sugestions?
Anyway on a brighter note. The guy I have spoken to on the speed date site has txt me twice. He seems so sweet. Have no idea what I am getting into but it feels good. I am supposed to talk to him tonight. Hope he comes on. God I have no idea what I a doing. Time will tell. Keep in touch and find out more. Heart break or love. Money or contiuously broke. Only the fate knows. God damn you fate. Ha Ha bye for now.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Chilling at home
Well after such a busy day yesterday I got to sleep in till 10am.. bliss. sun was shining pool was relaxing. sat in my daggy at home clothes until about 1pm. went and saw my friend who had the kids birthday party and she was telling me how her fiance who she thinks she is going to break up with got shitty cause she didn't want to leave the kids that were sleeping over with her 17 year old daughter at 12.30am to go to the casino with him. He then decided to come around to her house at 6am and hop into bed with her and try and have sex with her, then when she said no he got shitty again and could understand. Then when she explained it to him he cut her off half way and tried to have sex with her again. When it didn't happen he got shitty and left. Needless to say she has finally made the decision that it is finally over. But then she has her ex (the father of her kids) still ring and txting 20 times a day to say how much he loves her or is she awake or why hasn't she answered. and they have been apart for almost 4 years now and he lives with his girlfriend and has for almost four years. And people wonder why I am in no hurry to get into a relationship again.
After that I came home to just relax with the kids and have dinner. Decided to go on a speed dating site on the internet and started chating with a lovely guy. He lives in another state and there is no future, but it nice to have someone to talk to.
Well that is my day. I acheived nothing but enjoyed the whole day. Tomorrow I will have to get serious again and work out budjets and pay bills.
Have a nice day and enjoy.
After that I came home to just relax with the kids and have dinner. Decided to go on a speed dating site on the internet and started chating with a lovely guy. He lives in another state and there is no future, but it nice to have someone to talk to.
Well that is my day. I acheived nothing but enjoyed the whole day. Tomorrow I will have to get serious again and work out budjets and pay bills.
Have a nice day and enjoy.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Forgetting my troubles for a day.
Click Here!
Today was a busy day for all the right reasons. When I woke up this morning I had the same dread I always do,,,, Where am I going to find enough money to pay the bills and will the landlord be happy when I have my inspection, there is so much to do and only me to do it...... Luckily today I had other things to occupy my mind. I had 2 social outing to go to. Normally I sit at home on the weekends by myself or I am cleaning and tiding my house that I know will look the same within about 2 hours of me finishing. But not today. Today I had a baby shower to go to and a friend's childs birthday party. My morning consisted of waking up my 9 year old and her friend so that they could get ready to go to the birthday party. Getting them breakfast. feeding dog and cat and getting myself ready to go to the baby shower.. As usually time got away and I was rushing out the door knowing I was going to be late to the baby shower as I still had to go to the shop to buy wrapping paper, then drop my daughter and her friend off at the birthday party.
Rushing in the door to my friends house where the birthday party was, I quickly said 'hi' then 'bye will be back later have great time' got in the car and rushed to the baby shower.
Now I can start to have fun. Only a half an hour late, not too bad. Lots of laughter and games, couple of glasses of wine and orange, and great company, I was able to feel like an adult with adult conversation. No kids at this party. It was 3 hours of fun and laughter with my friends from work. And no men. Wish we had more time to do this more often. Time now to go back to birthday party to spend some time and see how that was going. Great kids in pool, food on table, (didn't eat much at baby shower too busy having fun) more great adult conversations with some friends I hadn't seen in ages. Kids were having a great time and it was great to watch them being carefree and have fun. Before I knew it some of the kids were being picked up and I had been there for 3 hours. What a great day this had turned out to be. I stayed awhile longer as my daughter was having a great time. Time went on and more friends I hadn't seen for awhile turned up. More laughter and reminising, as it got dark we decided to build a bon fire. The kids loved this and we toasted marshmellows and laughed more... Before I knew it, the time was 11pm, time to go home. I left home at 11am. What a great day, no stress, lots of laughter and some quality fun time with my youngest daughter. This is the way life should be. I'm going to bed stress free. I will leave that for tomorrow. My problems will still be there in the morning, but for tonight, I am going to bed with a clear mind and no problems, and some great memories. Cheers, I hope you all get to have a great day like this too.
http://www.partybymom.com/ezGaffurl.php?offer=paulie65&pid=1
Today was a busy day for all the right reasons. When I woke up this morning I had the same dread I always do,,,, Where am I going to find enough money to pay the bills and will the landlord be happy when I have my inspection, there is so much to do and only me to do it...... Luckily today I had other things to occupy my mind. I had 2 social outing to go to. Normally I sit at home on the weekends by myself or I am cleaning and tiding my house that I know will look the same within about 2 hours of me finishing. But not today. Today I had a baby shower to go to and a friend's childs birthday party. My morning consisted of waking up my 9 year old and her friend so that they could get ready to go to the birthday party. Getting them breakfast. feeding dog and cat and getting myself ready to go to the baby shower.. As usually time got away and I was rushing out the door knowing I was going to be late to the baby shower as I still had to go to the shop to buy wrapping paper, then drop my daughter and her friend off at the birthday party.
Rushing in the door to my friends house where the birthday party was, I quickly said 'hi' then 'bye will be back later have great time' got in the car and rushed to the baby shower.
Now I can start to have fun. Only a half an hour late, not too bad. Lots of laughter and games, couple of glasses of wine and orange, and great company, I was able to feel like an adult with adult conversation. No kids at this party. It was 3 hours of fun and laughter with my friends from work. And no men. Wish we had more time to do this more often. Time now to go back to birthday party to spend some time and see how that was going. Great kids in pool, food on table, (didn't eat much at baby shower too busy having fun) more great adult conversations with some friends I hadn't seen in ages. Kids were having a great time and it was great to watch them being carefree and have fun. Before I knew it some of the kids were being picked up and I had been there for 3 hours. What a great day this had turned out to be. I stayed awhile longer as my daughter was having a great time. Time went on and more friends I hadn't seen for awhile turned up. More laughter and reminising, as it got dark we decided to build a bon fire. The kids loved this and we toasted marshmellows and laughed more... Before I knew it, the time was 11pm, time to go home. I left home at 11am. What a great day, no stress, lots of laughter and some quality fun time with my youngest daughter. This is the way life should be. I'm going to bed stress free. I will leave that for tomorrow. My problems will still be there in the morning, but for tonight, I am going to bed with a clear mind and no problems, and some great memories. Cheers, I hope you all get to have a great day like this too.
http://www.partybymom.com/ezGaffurl.php?offer=paulie65&pid=1
Friday, January 22, 2010
Parenting alone
I am surprised at how hard it is to parent on your own. I thought being a single mum was hard, but when the other parent is taken out of the picture completely, as in death, then it is a totally different situation. You start to realise how much of a contribution the other parent makes. I am a mother of 3 and I am now the only parent. This is my blog on how I cope being the only parent. The ups and the downs. The confusing thoughts that go through your mind.
Unfortunately, my husband had a drinking problem that got so out of control, that it made living with him unbearable. The kid's and I never stopped loving him, but we knew that for us to be happy we had to leave. Thus begun a life of a single mother. This was not easy as my husband didn't want to let us go and live a happy life and he got very nasty. After almost 2 years we were finally getting to a place where we could talk to each other without getting angry. The kids were enjoying getting to see their father without all the fights. I found being a single parent hard, but at least the kids got to have a relationship with their father and if I needed to ask an oppinion on what one of the kids wanted to do, at least I knew that he loved them as much as me and had their best interest at heart. He still drank way too much but we got to enjoy the days that he didn't drink as much. He had an input into their lives.
Then one day this all changed. He died...... What I thought was hard, (being a single mum) became soo much harder..I became the only parent of my children. No body else had an input into their lives. There was nobody who loved them as much as me anymore. I was alone on so many levels I had never even thought of. This is my day to day life. My thoughts and fears. My tears and anxieties. I hope this will help other parents that are the only parent feel that they are not alone. It is hard to deal with guilt over work, gulit over the other parent dying and guilt over never having enough time or money. Then there is the thought of when do I start dating again. Follow me on y journey, I am sure it will be an interesting one.
Unfortunately, my husband had a drinking problem that got so out of control, that it made living with him unbearable. The kid's and I never stopped loving him, but we knew that for us to be happy we had to leave. Thus begun a life of a single mother. This was not easy as my husband didn't want to let us go and live a happy life and he got very nasty. After almost 2 years we were finally getting to a place where we could talk to each other without getting angry. The kids were enjoying getting to see their father without all the fights. I found being a single parent hard, but at least the kids got to have a relationship with their father and if I needed to ask an oppinion on what one of the kids wanted to do, at least I knew that he loved them as much as me and had their best interest at heart. He still drank way too much but we got to enjoy the days that he didn't drink as much. He had an input into their lives.
Then one day this all changed. He died...... What I thought was hard, (being a single mum) became soo much harder..I became the only parent of my children. No body else had an input into their lives. There was nobody who loved them as much as me anymore. I was alone on so many levels I had never even thought of. This is my day to day life. My thoughts and fears. My tears and anxieties. I hope this will help other parents that are the only parent feel that they are not alone. It is hard to deal with guilt over work, gulit over the other parent dying and guilt over never having enough time or money. Then there is the thought of when do I start dating again. Follow me on y journey, I am sure it will be an interesting one.
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